


Fancy seeing you here.

by justmarcialima



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/F, Face Punching, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Harassment, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Minor Violence, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Harassment, The Oncoming Storm (Doctor Who), sleazy dude
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-22
Updated: 2019-02-22
Packaged: 2019-11-03 15:50:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17880683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmarcialima/pseuds/justmarcialima
Summary: I kiss you at a bar and pretend to be your girlfriend to fend off a sleazy guy but turns out we are actually married to each other and I didn't recognize you because you're a woman now.





	Fancy seeing you here.

**Author's Note:**

> Please listen to the songs I wrote in this because I was listening to them when I was writing. 
> 
>  
> 
> Kudos and comments are much appreaciated!

A bar wasn’t a place that you usually saw the Doctor in. Firstly, because she hated the taste of alcohol and secondly, because the people that went there wasn’t her usual crowd. But her fam was feeling homesick without actually wanting to go home, so they ended up in a bar in the planet New New York, the closest place that better resembled Earth without being Earth. They sat on a booth in the corner nursing different drinks and chatting about their adventures, for once without a care in the world. 

“It’s good to relax for a while.” Graham said as he sipped a drink of his Guinness. He was amazed at the fact that it tasted the same like home. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the adventures but sometimes a man just wants to nurse a beer and have a chat with his friends.” 

“This place is amazing!” Yaz said excitedly. “They even accept Earth money!” 

“Dollars.” Ryan rolled his eyes. “Which none of us actually have.” 

“Still.” She shrugged and took a sip of her red wine.

“Don’t worry!” The Doctor piped in. She was the only one nursing a glass of orange juice on the table. “My sonic can deal with the money problem.” 

“Are we stealing these drinks, Doc?” Graham asked, considerably alarmed. 

“Oh no!” She shook her head. “I have some credit units that I can use.” 

“Whatever that means.” Ryan rolled his eyes but took the last sip of his beer, finishing it. 

“Do you want me to go get you a refill, Ryan?” The Doctor asked, seeing that she was also out of orange juice. 

“No, I’m good, thanks.” He said as he looked at Yaz who was just finishing her drink as well. “Maybe we should go ahead and pay.” Ryan said, figuring out that Graham would probably be done soon as well. “It is getting late.” 

The Doctor nodded and got up from her seat, making her way to the bar, being closely followed by Ryan, Yaz and Graham. She had no idea then that her night would change abruptly. 

 

River wasn’t totally averse to bars. She enjoying drinking, listening to music and overall having a good time. The only problem was that usually when she attended bars she had to fend off sleazy guys trying to make a pass on her. She was more than capable of handling them herself, but it started to get tiresome after a while. There was so many she could punch before her hand started to get bruised or tired, after all. Usually these days she preferred a more subtle approach. The unfortunate thing about this was that some guys just would not take a hint and continue their insufferable tirade of trying to pick her up, without giving up. She was going through that right now. 

River had come to New New York to seal a deal with a gemstone facilitator and she decided to celebrate when her deal went smoothly and she found herself a lot richer. The bar she had chosen was far from sketchy and she ordered a gin, sitting alone in a dark lit booth far away from the crowd, thinking that she would be left alone. She wasn’t that lucky. As soon as she sat down, men came to talk to her. They were mostly polite and went away as soon as she said no but she wasn’t in the mood so she took her gun from her hip holster and placed it gently on the table. That seemed to ward off ninety nine percent of them after that. Unfortunately, that one percent was incredibly sloshed and would not take a no for an answer. 

“Hello beautiful.” The man in question slurred to her. He wasn’t bad looking but he was completely shit-faced and his breath reeked of cheap beer. 

“Not interested.” She grumbled in a firm voice as she took a sip of her drink. 

“Aw, don’t be mean. You would look even prettier if you smiled.” He said. River rolled her eyes so hard she was afraid they would fall off their sockets. 

“Leave me alone.” She hissed at him. 

“Is this seat taken?” He asked, already sitting down and making himself comfortable in front of her. River could feel her left eye twitching and her hand was itching to grab her gun and shoot him but she had better self-control than that. She hoped for his sake, at least, that she had. 

“Go away.” River glared at him. The man had a lazy smile on his face like he didn’t have a care in the world. “I’m warning you, you do not want to mess with me.” 

“I want very much to mess with you, doll.” He gave a smile that he surely thought it was smug but looked more like he was having a stroke. “I’m Chad, what’s your name?” 

Okay, so blatantly telling him to go away wasn’t working. What’s the next best tactic instead of punching or shooting him? Ignoring him. That should work, River thought as she picked up her glass again and took a sip, turning her head to the side and pretending like he wasn’t there. Seven Nation Army was playing softly as background music and River attend herself to that instead of the complete idiot in front of her. 

“Are you playing hard to get, babe?” He chuckled and River almost retched. “I can do this all night.” 

If he did this all night, River would surely kill him and all her effort to try and be a good person would be wasted. She gave a look around the place, while the man still blabbed in front of her, looking for someone who looked just harmless and gullible enough to help her out of this mess. She finally found her prey when a blonde woman got up from her booth, making her way to the bar. She was wearing weird clothes so she definitely wasn’t from New New York and she looked kind. The rainbow in her shirt and coat told River that she was probably gay, so she wouldn’t be opposed to a woman hitting on her. River glanced at her hands and she wasn’t wearing a ring, so she was probably not married. She was accompanied by two men and a young woman who stared at her like she hung the stars. But the blonde didn’t look at her the same way, so they weren’t dating. River frowned as she saw the woman reach the counter and ask for the tab. She had the most delicious Yorkshire accent and she somehow looked familiar, even if River was sure that she had never seen her face before. River knew before she even got up from her seat that the woman would help her out and if she was lucky she might even come back to her hotel room with her. With that in mind, River knocked down the rest of her gin, picked up her gun and got up while the man in front of her startled and asked where she was going. River placed her gun on her thigh holster again as she made her way towards the woman, sure that the man was watching her every move, probably even going after her. 

The Doctor felt River’s presence before she actually saw her. She had been waiting for the bartender to come so she could pay their bill when she felt eyes staring at her from somewhere deep in the bar. She glanced around surreptitiously, in case whoever was staring at her was an enemy since she had so many of those. That was when she saw her. She looked absolutely stunning in black leather pants, knee length black riding boots, and a deep royal button up, showing a modest amount of cleavage. Her thigh holsters were in place with her guns decidedly loaded as always. Her hair was loose, curly and full in all its blond glory. River’s eyes looked determined and a tad angry, and her red painted lips were pressed in a thin line. There was a man following close behind her, albeit unsteadily. The Doctor didn’t even have time to gasp in surprise before she was being involved in River’s arms and the woman was pulling her to a passionate kiss. The Doctor made a tiny sound at the back of her throat in surprise and delight, before her eyes closed and she returned the kiss with the same enthusiasm, wrapping her arms around River’s neck. “R U mine?” By the Artic Monkeys was playing as they kissed and the Doctor almost laughed at the irony of the song that resembled so much their relationship. 

River was surprised by the enthusiasm in which the stranger kissed her back, instead of being alarmed but she would not complain as she buried a hand on the blonde’s short hair. Unfortunately, she could still feel the presence of the unwanted male watching them and she was sure that he was leering at them now. So River pulled away and hugged her, pressing her lips against the blonde’s ear. “Play along, please.” 

It hurt the Doctor’s hearts when River asked her to play along, making her realize that the woman had no idea who she was. It felt like the Universe was playing a joke on her but what were the odds of River coming straight at her for help in a bar full of strangers? Maybe it was destiny or something deeper than destiny. 

“Hi, love!” River said in a cheery tone as she looked at the Doctor.

“Are you two a thing?” The man asked as he sidled up to them, almost losing his balance as he perched himself in a bar stool. The Doctor could see that River was refraining from rolling her eyes. The man had also effectively blocked Yaz, Graham and Ryan who were looking at them with shocked faces. 

“Yes, we’re married.” The Doctor responded, wrapping her arm around River’s waist. It hurt that River had no idea who she was but she would take her small victories. It was better to have River like this than no way at all. 

“Oh, nice.” He said and then gave a sleazy smile. “Can I join?” 

River groaned in frustration so hard, the Doctor could feel the vibrations against her body. She was actually surprised that her wife had not punched him yet, that only demonstrated how far her wife had come from her early days. 

“Get a hint!” River huffed out. “We’re not interested.” 

“And even if we were, you probably wouldn’t be even our last choice.” The Doctor said. 

“Oh, c’mon gals.” He slurred out. “You guys are just that way because you haven’t met the right guy yet!” 

“That’s it!” River exclaimed. “I’m punching you!” She stepped forwards but the Doctor held her hand, causing River to turn around and look at her. 

“Don’t. He’s not worth it.” She muttered softly as River looked into her hazel eyes for a moment, loosing herself in them. 

They were staring at each other when the man leaned forward and smacked River on the arse, causing her to startle. The Doctor saw red; there was a reason why people called her the oncoming storm. Because she could be deadly in a blink of an eye. She pushed River gently aside and approached the man with a dangerous smile. “You really shouldn’t have done that.” 

Before he could say or do anything else, the Doctor was punching him herself, making him drop straight to the ground with the impact. She stood above him and leaned down with a deadly sneer. “Nobody touches my wife, now get lost!” 

The guy got up from the ground holding his bloody nose. Something in the Doctor’s eyes scared the shit out of him because he gave a step backwards, almost tripping on someone else and scurried out of there, running with his tail between his legs. The Doctor sighed and caressed her hurting hand, sure that she would be bruised in the morning but not caring in the slightest. Her companions were staring at her like she had just showed them a side that they didn’t even knew it existed but she ignored them for now, turning around to look at River and make sure she was ok. 

“River, are you ok?” She asked, softly. A totally different person from what she had demonstrated a minute ago. 

“Doctor?” River asked in a croak. 

The Doctor smiled at her and caressed her cheek. “Hello sweetie.” She whispered. 

River could feel her eyes filling with unshed tears so she hugged her wife so she wouldn’t show emotion and vulnerability. The Doctor hugged her back, feeling the tears pouring from her eyes and into River’s hair. 

They pulled back with matching grins. “What gave me away?” The Doctor asked. 

“Your eyes.” River responded simply, caressing under her eye softly with her thumb. “They’re so old.” 

“I’m old, River.” The Doctor sighed. “The oldest you’ve ever met me, in fact.” She looked down, refraining from looking into River’s eyes and seeing how young she was compared to her. 

River placed a hand on her chin and lifted it up with a smile. “I’m old too, Doctor.” She beamed at the Doctor, her whole face lighting up. “Older than the Library.”

The Doctor gasped, feeling her eyes fill with tears again. “H-How?” 

River smirked mischievously. “Spoilers.” 

Differently from the past, when she frowned at the words, this time the Doctor beamed back at her, feeling like her hearts would burst. 

They stared at each other before they heard someone clearing their throat behind them, making they turn around and stare at three flabbergasted companions. 

“You two know each other?” Yaz asked. 

“Yes, we’re married.” The Doctor answered. 

“But-But she didn’t know who you were! How are you married if she didn’t know who you were?!” Ryan asked in a high pitched voice. 

“I used to be a man, I told you guys this, do keep up.” The Doctor frowned at them, like it was perfectly normal for her wife to not recognize her. 

“We thought you were joking!” Graham exclaimed. 

“Oh no she was serious.” River piped in the conversation. “The last time I saw her she was a brown haired gangly looking fellow wearing a blue suit and square glasses.” 

“And the last person I was, was a fluffy white haired Scotsman with angry eyebrows.” The Doctor said. 

Yaz opened her mouth to ask what she meant by that but River beat her to it. 

“It’s a long story, we might have to sit and get drinks again.” She said. “It’s a lot to take in, I know, but you eventually get used to it.” She smiled at them. “I’m Professor River Song, it’s a pleasure to meet you all.” 

After that she conducted them to her booth and they drank all night, hearing the stories about their adventures and history. The Doctor didn’t took her hand from River’s the whole night.


End file.
